When You Met Me
by Lyn Lloyd
Summary: Finally Chuck is turning eighteen. But something isn't right, a secret is surfacing, one that he can't let go of...and he finds himself in love with the wrong person. DanChuck Slash! R&R! TV SHOW BASED!
1. Chapter I

**When You Met Me  
By Lyn Lloyd**

"**Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret"  
-Alpra Behn**

**Chapter I:  
Courtyard Confusions and Chocolate Cake**

* * *

**Dan Humphrey** flipped the final page of _For Whom the Bell Tolls_, by Ernest Hemingway. He had a thing for dark, war novels. They intrigued him. He related to most of the main characters and enjoyed the plot lines. 

And it made him think about love. How Hemingway describes this short, spastic, unpredictable feeling that arises when is it not welcomed, but somehow we take it in. His stomach churned and suddenly he felt uneasy. He had been avoiding it, but the thought of love only brought up the subject of Serena. A nervous flutter burst in all directions in his stomach.

But, being a nervousness of another kind, it only made him feel sick.

* * *

Chuck fell back onto the bed, clad in only his silk, green boxers. Something about the feeling of being all alone in a hotel room really turned him on. The secrecy of what he was about to do made his groins quiver. At first, he did not want to admit it. But as his hand lowered closer and closer south, the image popped into his mind. 

It wasn't the blonde waitress who had served him breakfast this morning, or the secretary that had sent him into his father's office, but…a guy.

He cringed and moved his hand away and wiped his forehead. It was dark, but not completely, sunlight filtered through the thick curtains, casting a glow. He felt ashamed, lost, and frustrated. Sex with women was good, but virtually impossible. It was as if a switch in his brain replaced the feelings he got with seeing great boobs, with well, _gay_ thoughts.

"Fuck." Chuck spat, and he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "You're fine. You love boobs, always have."

But it felt forced, like it wasn't right, like it didn't fit. Something about it felt overwhelming.

* * *

Dan put his pencil down and studied his essay. After re-reading it for the tenth time, he stood up and walked towards his Professor's desk. A paper lay, crinkled and sloppy on the desk. Someone had finished before him. The name read Chuck Bass. 

The words were printed in sloppy cursive and Dan found himself reading what Chuck had written. He had no idea Chuck could read.

…_I disliked this book because, although Hemingway did a good job at writing about beauty, a foreshadowing of doom always disappointed you. Yet, it does show if you know you are going to lose something, it makes it all the more valuable."_

Dan put his paper on top; his doubts about his own essay only grew.

He sat down, observed the room and noticed Chuck sitting close to the window, smirking at the group of girls right outside the window. Since their English class was on the first floor, it always allowed him to get a good view of the girls who ate lunch in the courtyard.

But, the funny thing is, Dan had no idea the thoughts that were running through Chuck's mind, the very thoughts that had been torturing him for weeks.

_I love girls, they are so hot. Yeah. So hot. But… _Chuck's eyes wandered to two boys punching each other playfully, then semi-hugging, in you know that manly way…and things went from there.

Dan continued to stare at the rich boy. His mind also wandered, to thoughts of how Chuck was able to write something like that when all he did was check out the girls in the courtyard.

Chuck felt a pair of eyes on him, suddenly aware that Dan Humphrey was staring straight at him. Dan averted his eyes once Chuck shot him a look. Dan's heart thudded for a second as adrenaline rushed through him.

The bell rang and class was over. Chairs squeaked as students shot up to get to their next classes.

* * *

"Dan!" Serena grabbed his hand and pulled him into a kiss. Ever since they had had sex, things were different. Not in a mature way, in a non-sexual way. So by finally having sex, it really had only lessened everything. 

"Oh, wow, hi." Dan stuttered.

"What's wrong?" Serena stepped back a bit, loosening her grip on his hand.

"Nothing."

"You sure?"

Dan shook his head, "Yeah."

"Okay," Serena began, "You want to go somewhere tonight? I know you don't really like my friends, but Chuck-"

"Sure." He said too quickly, "Well, I mean, what? What is it?" Dan laughed nervously and tried to act calmer.

Serena, a bit shocked at his sudden approval, went on, "Chuck's parents are gone and since we haven't really done much, you know all of us, he wanted to do something. Plus, it's his birthday."

"Rich boy's birthday party?"

Serena shook her head, "Well, not really, he doesn't exactly _celebrate_ it. He just kinda gets people together and pretends it's not his birthday."

"Rich kids are pretty complicated." Dan joked. He liked how comfortable he felt around Serena.

"You have no idea."

* * *

Chuck sat in his limo outside of the apartments where his penthouse was located. He felt annoyed, most at himself, for inviting Serena and Nate and whoever they invited to his party. 

The limo made him sick; the smell of wine crowded his senses. Maybe it was the smell of his own defeat, his own admittance. He was in the closet, deep in the closet. This was not a sudden revelation; it had taken a month to get to this conclusion and many foggy wet dreams before any actual gay thoughts.

And at five o'clock he would be eighteen years old, alone, and gay. He checked his watch, it was four-thirty. Only thirty minutes, might as well enjoy it. He leaned back against the seat of the limo and closed his eyes, hoping to God that this was a horrible, horrible nightmare and when he woke up, he would have an erection, but only because he found two women, naked, under his sheets.

* * *

"What do you get a rich boy for his birthday- money?" 

Serena rolled her eyes, "Chuck doesn't want us to give him anything. Remember, it's not his birthday."

"Right." Dan made a confused face, "When does he have a birthday? Like with cake and the wish and stuff?"

"He doesn't."

"Really?" Dan felt sorry for him. "No chocolate cake?"

"Only if the cake you gave him had two strippers somewhere inside of it."

"Right." Dan leaned against his computer chair and stared at Serena, who was sitting on his bed.

"Your dad is gone." Serena got up, "So is Jenny."

Dan stood up, quicker than usual, "It's almost five-thirty."

"It's only four-thirty we have an hour."

"My watch must be wrong."

"It is." She walked over to him suggestively and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Dan pressed his hand on her back and went for it. Sex, he loved sex. Well… at least he tried to.

All the French kissing lead to Dan lifting up Serena's shirt and unclasping her bra. He touched her breasts, kneaded them and then helped undo his shirt. Pretty soon, they were both naked on his bed.

Serena led him on top of her and he gradually felt his erection harden against her. _Well at least I'm normal_, he began thinking.

Finally, he slid inside of her and once again, thoughts kept running through his head. While he kissed her, while he closed his eyes and leaned and rocked against her, he thought,

_How did he write such a damn good essay? Why weren't his parents coming to celebrate his birthday with him? And does he even like chocolate cake?_

* * *

Chuck stepped out the shower and wiped his hand over the fog to examine himself in the mirror. He felt a sense of relief that he had finally gotten over his gayness. While in the shower he had thought about it, he liked women, he liked men-sort've…no, yes he liked men. Maybe instead of being so melodramatic about it and assuming the worst (complete gayness) he was just bi, or bi-curious, whatever they called it. 

It made him feel better, that way he could just tell people that "Yeah I like women." Which isn't a lie because, he just only forgot to mention that he had a fondness for men as well…

Yeah, he had it all figured out.

His watch on the counter ticked to five o'clock.

* * *

Serena brushed her hair with her hands and slipped into her clothes. Dan dressed behind her and checked his watch, "It's six-no wait, almost five thirty." 

"We better go then."

Dan followed her out. Chuck's apartment seemed like an adventure. Like something he wanted to see. It felt very unlike himself to actually want to go to one of these "events".

In the cab, Serena held his hand and leaned her head against his shoulder, like normal young lovers, but something in Dan's gestures only showed that this love was most definitely one-sided.

* * *

Chuck wore a button up vest over a white shirt. He was about to put on a pink shirt under the vest, but figured that would be too obvious. 

The room was already filled with people, few he actually knew, until Nate walked in.

"Hey. Happ-I mean great party."

Nate was a friend, so Chuck was thankful he had no feelings there. "Hey." He didn't have anything witty to say, so his voice ended up sounding out of place.

"Is there anything wrong?" Nate assumed quickly.

"Well," Could he tell Nate? Yes, _**no…**_

"No, well maybe."

"Maybe?" Nate pulled him aside.

"I-" He looked down, and lowered his voice to a whisper, "I forget to use a condom."

No, he couldn't tell Nate.

Nate chuckled, "Did you get a girl knocked up?"

"Uh, well I don't know."

Nate smiled, "You know it would've eventually happened, it's statistics."

"What would you know about statistics?"

"Did you run out?"

"I-I was rushing."

"Ah, the old rush in, rush out?"

Chuck felt embarrassed that he had to lie about having sex; he hadn't done that since the eighth grade.

"Yeah, so how are things with…"

Nate set his glass down, as if it put even more weight into the discussion, "Zero."

"Really?" Chuck smirked, "I could get you something on the side…"

Nate hesitated.

"It's a joke; I didn't really take you as the unfaithful type. But, if you would like to I'd pick out a nice blonde for you, as a thank you gift. You know I'd do anything for you."

_Did that sound gay?_

_Fuck, I sound like his bitch._

"I mean, you know, I'd help you out because you're my-"

"Serena." Nate's attention turned to her and the guy standing behind her, Dan something.

"Happy Birthday Bass." Serena hugged him.

Chuck, with too much on his mind, forget the whole taboo and studied Dan over Serena's hug, all he thought was…how much he just wanted to try it. He wanted the experience. He wanted to prove it that he was one-hundred percent guaranteed gay.

So, with that in mind, he stayed close to Serena.

Serena clapped her hands after a few glasses of wine. "I have an idea!"

"What?" More people gathered around their little circle.

"An old-fashioned game of spin-the-bottle!"

Some people moaned a no and others nodded theirs heads in agreement. Serena took an empty bottle of wine and set it on the floor.

"Me first!" She spun it and more people formed a circle.

It spun and landed on Nate. She gave him a quick kiss, only flaring up Nate's desire to screw something. _Anything._

Nate spun and it landed on some random girl. He kissed her and then it was Dan's turn. But, this time Serena smirked, feeling lucky that the wine bottle would land on her, she changed the rules.

"No more quick kisses. It's closet time!"

Chuck cringed at the word closet. Why did gayness have to be connected to closets?

"Seven minutes in heaven!" Another offered and everyone got a little more anxious.

Dan, his hand still on the bottle, gave it whirl. It spun and slowly, but surely, landed on Chuck.

Chuck Bass. The rich boy, who didn't celebrate his birthday, or pretended not to, who didn't like cake-only strippers, and the one who could write way better than he could.

Serena laughed and so did everyone else. They made cooing noises and pushed them both towards the closet. Dan's hands beaded with sweat, he lost the control of his nerves and he tried to laugh it off with a lame chuckle. Chuck was standing up, confidently, waiting for him to join him.

Chuck. Chuck. Chuck. The name rushed in and out of his mind faster than Serena's when he first kissed her and faster than his heart when he began to stand and head for the closet and faster than Chuck's footsteps behind him.

It was really dark in this closet. "It's dark." Dan said when he shut the door.

"Does it matter?"

Dan shut up, "No."

They stood in the dark for a good thirty seconds before Dan started talking again.

"I read your essay."

"What essay?"

"Hemingway."

"He's a horrible writer. I hate him, boring. God, damn. Shut up whatever your name is."

"It's Dan, Dan Humphrey."

"Good for you Humprey."

"Humphrey."

"Humphrey."

"Yeah, but you understood what-"

"Okay, I don't want discuss literature with you, in a closet, when we're suppose to be making out." Chuck crossed his arms. Experiencing something was too idealistic, especially since it was with this straight, literature freak.

"What kind of cake do you like?"

"Chocolate."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

It's two o'clock in the morning on a Monday. I have a fantastic cold, stuffy nose and all. I probably will have to go to school tomorrow, but I can get myself out of it. I decided to write this because I LOVE this show and I've missed writing fanfics. So I hope you enjoyed this! And if you're asking me, why Dan/Chuck?

I think it's cute! And yes you may flame me! Please review! I love it all.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter II: The Captivating Word You Say

Chapter II: Those Captivating Words You Say  
_"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met." -Unknown_

* * *

Chuck turned over in his sleep, a vibrating in his pocket went on consistently until he finally reached into the pocket of his slacks and pulled it out. He had his hand on the off button on his phone, but something on the screen made his heart jump every which way in his throat. He frantically read the text on his phone, over and over again until it registered.

_What this? Chuck Bass spotted, infatuated by lonely boy Dan Humphrey. Has our ladies man switched sides?  
_

* * *

"It was just spin the bottle."

"Really?" Jenny smirked and grabbed Dan's laptop away from him.

"Yes, really. It was Serena's idea anyway."

"Serena shoved you into the closet?""

Dan took his laptop back.

" I-I didn't mean it that way-Dan, don't worry about."

"Ha, don't _worry_ about it...?"

"Yeah, because this won't be over for weeks."

"Thanks Jenny."

"You're welcome."

* * *

Shit. Shit. Motherfucker.

Chuck went on a silent rampage in his mind as he tried to keep his calm. He searched his room for his uniform.

"Where's my fucking tie?"

He checked under the sofa and under his bed and in the bathroom. He was checking under the glass coffee table, when his maid called for him.

"Mr. Bass?"

"What-"

Thud.

"Fuck!" He rubbed the back of his head, "What do want?!"

"Is everything alright?"

"No-Yes! Yes! Everything is fine!"

He stood up and then looked at his hand, it was dabbed with blood.

The door opened and his maid, Dana, came in. She was only thirty-one, a replacement for the maid Chuck had fired after the "I won't allow anymore alcohol in this penthouse" incident.

"Mr. Bass?"

"I said I'm fine." He sat down.

He looked up at her, she was bending over and checking the back of his head. She had knockers that could kill any guy. Especially in her uniform, not a typical porno maid outfit, but a nice fitting one indeed.

"I told you-"

"It looks like you have a mighty big bump on your head."

"Obviously."

"Looking for this?"

As she handed him the tie and left, he felt like he should have wanted so badly to stop her, but he didn't. Instead, as his head throbbed with pain, he put his head in his hands and cursed again.

Even Chuck Bass had emotions, he certainly wasn't crying, but he felt that sense of difference. Like he wasn't who he used to be and he was walking in new territory now. Even money and power couldn't help this situation.

* * *

"Have you seen Gossip Girl?" Blair chuckled and grabbed her boyfriend by his tie, "Dan and Chuck-disgusting, it's bad enough Dan was screwing my best girl friend, but now Chuck Bass? He's really digging for that gold."

Nate looked at her, silenced by her comments.

"What? I'm just telling the truth."

Blair and Nate sat down on the steps and waited for the bell to ring.

"I just think it's a rumor, Chuck isn't gay."

Blair shot him a look, "Honestly, look how his elaborates about his sexual escapades. He has better taste than me, as hard as that is to admit. How much proof do you need?"

Nate lowered his head, "I just don't believe everything on Gossip Girl."

"Well when has it ever been wrong?"

* * *

Serena tucked her blond hair behind her ear. She checked her lip liner and puckered her lips, applying more lip gloss.

Her phone vibrated and she picked it up, she knew it would be Blair pestering her to hurry up.

"Dan and Chuck?"

Even though she was there, she knew it was just a harmless teenage game, but somewhere, deep in her instincts, something clicked. The way Dan moved in her, without passion, and the way he had held her hand or last week when he made the excuse that he was "busy" when they had a date planned.

Yes, it was something, but something that she ignored.

* * *

Chuck sat down, ignored the stares he received from every girl near him. He glared at them, annoyed at the fact that Gossip Girl actually did have an effect on them. And that it also had an effect on him.

"Today we'll finish up Hemingway's novel and start on our term papers."

Chuck looked down at his blank sheet of paper in from of him. He realized then how much school bored him, and he looked, casually towards Dan's desk. He rubbed the back of his neck and stared back down at his desk.

He wondered if Dan was feeling the same things he was feeling.  
_  
God, shut up, mind. Please. He begged. Please let me be normal. I'd do anything, please. He begged, I'll give all my money to charity. Just please don't let me be gay._

And then door opened and Dan Humphrey hurried inside.

_All least I tried_, Chuck thought.

"Mr. Humphrey. You're late."

"I know. Sorry." He hurried in and sat down. Chuck's thoughts were interrupted by Dan's eyes. Bags had formed under his eyes, marking that he did have troubling thoughts on his mind. Chuck began to feel less alone.

Dan stared blankly at the front. Chuck _was_ right, Dan did have a troubled sleep. Serena wasn't on his mind anymore, he didn't want to cuddle with her, let alone have sex, his libido was going berserk just like the song, studying had become a chore, and now everyone thought he was gay with rich boy.

"Dan, read the passage on page thirty-four."

Dan sighed and got his book from his book bag.

Chuck stared at him, uncaring that everyone around him was watching him carefully. When Dan Humphrey spoke Chuck took a hold of his breath.

"Look at the ugliness. Yet one has a feeling within one that blinds a man while he loves you. You, with that feeling, blind him, and blind yourself. Then, one day, for no reason, he sees you as ugly as you really are and he is not blind anymore and then you see yourself as ugly as he sees you and you lose your man and your feeling... After a while, when you are as ugly as I am, as ugly as women can be, then, as I say after a while the feeling, the idiotic feeling that you are beautiful, grows slowly in one again. It grows like a cabbage. And then, when the feeling is grown, another man sees you and thinks you are beautiful and it is all to do over."

"Thank you Dan."

Dan shut his book and his eyes wandered over and touched Chuck's. Chuck didn't move his away, while Dan looked down and then checked if Chuck still held his gaze.

Chuck kept thinking, that maybe, just maybe, they were just blind and eventually they'd see each other's ugliness.

* * *

Dan wandered out of his last period, thinking that he had to tell Serena. He had to tell her that he was confused about her and that he just didn't see them together anymore. No, that would be too obvious. People would...

When did he start caring? He looked down at his school uniform and around at the people he went to school with. He felt like no matter what he did, he'd feel out of place with school, with Serena, with the general population of New York.

"Where have you been?"

Dan sighed into the phone, "I was tired."

Serena felt that feeling again, "I'm sorry and if you're-"

"I'm not, okay?"

"Okay."

There was a long, pregnant pause before Serena started to talk again.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I told you I'm fine."

Jenny walked in. "Dan dinner's ready."

"Okay I'll be right there. Look Serena I have to go eat, bye."

"Bye..." Serena hung up. and that feeling only grew.

* * *

Chuck could feel something as well. Dan didn't look the same during English class this morning. The way he spoke, and held himself certainly was different. Something about his sincere, hippie boy way infatuated Chuck. He wanted to tell someone, he wanted to tell Nate. But he knew he would be with Blair at his parents house, because his parents were on a business trip in France. He found that so cliché that Nate and Blair were having sex on every piece of furniture in his parent's house while they were on business trips.

His father only went on "business trips" for money and sex .His dad's reputation was polished by everyone he paid to stop from rumors to be spread about his nymphomaniac nature.

Chuck's mouth went dry. Father. Reputation. If his father ever found out what was written on Gossip Girl...

--------------  
"Nate?"

Chuck had decided to give it a try. He was sure Blair would've at least gotten tired by now.

"It's three in the morning."

"I know." Chuck growled, "Listen to me."

"I'm listening."

Chuck gulped, "Could you come over?"

"What? No."

"Why?"

"..."

"Fine I'll take a cab."

Chuck sat down on his bed and put his phone beside him. He was in his green bathrobe, his face clad with a concerned expression. Only one small lamp was on, casting an illuminating, yet calming effect on his room. His black hair was ruffled in every which way. His eyes had drops of light swimming in them.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Three in the morning was the most depressing time at night. It was that time of night that made you think. You're mind goes crazy and you begin to think over and over about things, everything.

After twenty minutes Nate tapped lightly on Chuck's door.

Chuck opened his door and went back to sitting on his bed. Nate shut the door behind him and sat down on the couch.

"What is it?"

"I'm confused."

"About what? Did you get that whole situatio-"

"I lied."

This whole gay thing was making Chuck different. He was truthful at least.

"Why?" Nate shot him an odd, confused look.

"Because it's something else."

"Okay, well are you in love?"

Chuck sucked in his breath again, much like he had done in English class.

"No."

He felt his stomach churn with nervousness.

"Chuck you know I won't care."

"I'm gay."

Chuck watched Nate soak in the news like a sponge.

"Um...no you're not, is this a joke?"

"Why would I fucking wake you up this late to tell you a joke."

"Well I don't know Chuck, because you're a jackass."

Nate stood up and walked over to Chuck. "Are you sure? Why didn't you say anything?"

Chuck stood up too, feeling threatened by Nate's strong voice, "I didn't know!"

"Why not?! That's pretty important isn't it?"

"I don't know."

Nate relxed, gathering his cool.

Chuck looked at him, defeated.

"Blair told me. I should've believed her."

"She told you I was gay?"

"Yes. I guess she was right." He chuckled, "Congratulations Bass, you're a fag."

"Thanks."

Nate sat down on Chuck's bed, " I don't care if you are."

"Well that's why I told you." Chuck sat next to him.

"I never would've guessed."

"Me neither."

Dan sat down on hid bed with his laptop on his lap. He had locked his door and now he had his finger grazing the enter key. He pushed down and imagesof naked men with other naked men shot up. He felt something in his chest constrict.

It was exciting, secretly indulging in his this virutal sexual world. Usually he just scanned through any type of sex pictures, ignoring this, knowing that it wasn't right. But now that he had opened the portal, he felt something in his middle area beg for more.

"Dan!"

"What?" Dan closed his laptop.

"It's Serena!"

Dan frantically jumped off his bed and hurried out of his room. He saw her standing in the doorway and he motioned her inside. Serena cleared her throat and checked the time. They both ignored greeting each other and went straight to his bedroom.

"Why haven't you called me?"

"I tried."

"No you haven't."

"Okay, I haven't but-"

"I'm right here in front of you, every day and you don't even try to touch me or kiss me. I have to come up to you."

"I mean look as us, what must people think when..."

Dan stared at her.

"I didn't mean it that way."

"Serena I-I don't want this."

Serena was taken aback. He was breaking it off with her? No.

"What do you want Dan? Chuck? Is that what you want? Well I'm sorry I don't have a dick."

"That's not it."

"Yes it is, I've never seen someone so bored having sex with his girlfriend."

"I'm not gay!" Dan raised his voice.

Serena crossed her arms, "Then I guess it's just me."

Dan sighed, "No, you're not it either."

"What, have you turned asexual overnight?"

"Why is everything about sex?"

"It is. Dan if you don't want to be with me anymore than that's fine."

"Serena."

"Dan I really thought this would work."

"Me too."

"Do you even love me anymore?"

"I..."

"Tell me the truth."

"No."

"Then why did you say it?"

"Because I felt it at the time."

"I guess that feeling is gone then."

"I guess so."

Chuck closed his eyes. He had said it. He had told Nate. Nate, his best friend. But still, he felt all messed up. What if Nate told the world that yes it was a game that he had played, but that game had become reality. It had secured it.

And as his eyes closed, Chuck smiled, only a little, just in case someone would see.

* * *


	3. Chapter III: The Incurable Optimist

**When You Met Me  
By Lyn Lloyd**

"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are."  
-Houssaye

**Chapter III**  
_**The Incurable Optimist**_

* * *

"You told Serena?" 

Nate shoved his hands in his coat pocket, "No."

Chuck studied him, "No, but you told Blair. You clarified her theory and she went to Serena!"

"Calm down. No one else knows."

"Blair Waldorf would use anything against me, Nate and you know it."

"Nah, she won't."

"Why are you suddenly an incurable optimist?"

Nate shrugged and continued walking, "You're the one shouting."

Chuck stopped walking, "You are my friend, according to the rules, friends are not supposed to fucking spread shit around."

"Now you're just being vulgar." Nate laughed.

"It's not fucking funny, Nate."

_What if Dan knows, what if Dan knows! _ That's what Chuck wanted to scream, and he almost did.

"What if Serena tells-"

"Dan?" Nate sing-songed.

"No, I was _not_ going to say Dan."

Chuck wanted to punch Nate in the mouth.

"I was going to say, uh, everyone."

"She won't, Serena is like a born again Christian now, with all her redemption crap she's been spewing out."

"True, but you never know."

Nate fell silent, "Blair won't tell."

"Yeah she will."

"Yeah, probably."

Chuck groaned, expecting the terrible fall off of the social ladder, or the face of the earth if his father ever found out.

* * *

Dan ripped a piece of blank paper and used it as a bookmark. He sat up, and looked towards his desk for his laptop. "Where is it?" 

A very loud squeal echoed through their flat and Jenny opened the garage door that separated their bedrooms, "Chuck IS GAY!"

Dan blinked, taking in the news, "What?"

Jenny, speechless, pointed frantically at the screen of his laptop.

Dan walked over and stared at the screen. A picture of Chuck walking in the streets of New York, with Nate, wearing a pink shirt with a vest over it and a caption reading: _It's official single men of New York; the ladies man has most definitely switched sides._

"Does it say anything else?"

"Nope, there has been like a million comments, but Gossip Girl hasn't posted anything up yet."

Dan searched through the website, hoping to find something.

"Wow, you're becoming obsessive." Jenny scoffed.

"No, uh, just looking for…"

"More info, contact information, pictures." Jenny laughed and grabbed his laptop, "Personally I think it's great."

"You think it's great?"

"Yeah."

Dan stared at her, curious, "Why?"

Jenny shrugged, but there was definitely something behind her shrug, "So how are you and Serena, I read you broke up, is that true?"

Dan nodded, he hadn't forgotten. Serena wasn't speaking to him. He didn't know if he should just apologize. But, even in his sense of loss, he sort've had a clearer feeling. Like, a new start or something. It felt better at least, now that it had taken awhile to sink in.

But, as Dan thought about it, maybe it wasn't a good idea. Maybe Serena was what he needed.

He didn't know. He was confused, he had told the truth. He didn't know what to do with this confusion. And as he looked at the picture of Chuck still on the front page of Gossip Girl, a funny feeling arose. Something like, the first flutters of a newly awaking butterfly.

A crush perhaps?

* * *

"I knew I should've never worn this fucking pink shirt." Chuck pulled at his pink polo. 

Nate scrolled down Gossip Girl, "Says here, you're officially gay."

"Damn it." Chuck pulled off his vest and then his shirt.

"You know, since you like guys, it'd be kinda like your showing your tits to me." Nate spun in the computer chair.

"Shut up." Chuck grabbed a shirt from his closet, a black one.

"So Blair is a blabber mouth, what's new?"

Chuck shot him a look, "I told you so."

"I have to ask you."

"What?"

"What about Dan?"

"What about him?" Chuck tried acting non-chalant.

"I mean is he your main man, your partner?"

"No."

"I can hear it in your voice." Nate stood up, pointing an accusative finger, "Ha, you love the stable boy."

"Stable boy?" Chuck asked.

"You know you're like the rich boy and stuff."

"Now your just getting weird, Nate."

Nate laughed, "Come on, I know you like him, you were all flustered about him before."

"Okay, your right." Chuck snapped back.

"What?" Nate stammered, "You're joking."

"When do I fucking joke about lusting over some poor fuck from Brooklyn?"

Nate nodded in agreement.

"Plus, this isn't fucking easy for me; I have to fucking put up with _your _stupid girlfriend, _his_ stupid girlfriend-"

"They broke up." Nate chimed in.

"What? When?" Chuck sat down, intrigued.

"Like yesterday or something." Nate smiled, "It's a good deal for both of us. I get Serena, you get Dan."

Chuck raised his eyebrow, and smirked, "That doesn't sound like a bad idea, smartass."

Nate smirked, "Doesn't sound bad at all."

* * *

Serena stared at the last text Dan had sent her: _you can come over whenever. -Dan_

She ran her fingers through her hair and dialed Blair's number. It rang twice until she chimed, "Hello?"

"Hey, Blair."

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Serena, knew what she was going to say and what she was going to say was making her cry, "Dan and I, we broke up."

"I'm sorry, but I'm busy."

"Blair, I need someone to talk to."

"Serena, it's just I knew from the beginning, this whole poor boy, rich girl thing wouldn't fly."

"Thanks Blair, that really helps."

"Serena, we'll talk tomorrow alright?"

"Fine." Serena hung up.

She scanned over Dan's number and pressed the delete button, but regretted it afterwards.

* * *

Dan sat down on the bus and took out his book. He removed the piece of paper and wished the bus would just move already, he didn't want to see anyone he knew from school, seeing him on the bus, on a Saturday, reading. It wouldn't be the highlight of his life. 

But when Dan finally got comfortable, he couldn't concentrate on his book. The words just felt too tedious and he ended up just putting it away. He stared out the window and studied someone in particular, and not until they got closer did he realize it was Chuck.

Chuck looked up and his eyes were caught up in Dan's, locked. The bus started up and Chuck sprang into action. He hurried up the steps and since the bus was nearly empty, went straight to where Dan was and sat down behind him.

"Hey."

Dan sucked in his breath, "Hey."

"I don't want anyone to see me speaking to you."

"I know." Dan could feel Chuck's hot breath against his ear.

"But, I'm as aggressive gay as I was straight."

Dan closed his eyes for a second, taking it in, "So it's true."

"Yes."

"When…"

"Awhile ago."

"Why."

"Enough with the small talk. I came to ask you a favor, a proposition. Fuck me."

Dan's muscles stiffened when Chuck said those two words, "I don't know."

"Well, you do or you don't."

Dan took a small breath, "Well I don't."

"Follow me when we get to my stop, up to my apartment."

"Why should I?" Dan asked, getting braver.

"Because you want to." Chuck spoke a little louder and a little closer to his ear, so Dan got the full extent of Chuck's words.

Dan knew he wanted to, since the spin the bottle game, since the essay, since now. Since something had sent all these new butterflies raging inside his stomach. And he felt himself nod, because he wanted to know. Like Chuck, he wanted to know who he was, and not let it be a doubt in his mind forever.

The bus stops and a jolt like nothing he's ever felt went through Dan, and as he stood, he could barely walk. And he knew he was following Chuck, down the steps, into the apartment building and onto the elevator.

And as the floors blinked one by one, Dan finally felt the confusion fade away.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thanks a bunch for all the reviews! Thank you! I'm sorry for such a late update! I really am, I've been sooo busy. I've also been sick with the flu and my teeth hurt from braces. I'm also trying to graduate early from high school so I can get the hell out of there! Lol! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I enjoy writing this and I'll update more! **

**Your reviews are my motivator! You want more? Review! Motivate me!**

**Thanks again,**

**Lyn Lloyd**


	4. Chapter IV: Burn, Baby, Burn

When You Met Me

_Written By Lyn Lloyd_

**Chapter Four**

Burn, Baby, Burn

"I love the contradictions of people..." -Jewel

* * *

Serena charged her cell phone, since all of her obsessions with Dan's texts had consumed herself. She was sick of checking her inbox and reading the zero messages, it was more depressing than the actual breakup. She lay on her bed, on her white sheets, that made her seem pure and innocent and blonde, something she hated about herself now. Something she that made her miss Nate.

She unplugged her phone from her charger and searched through her contacts, Nate's popped up and she read the number at least ten times before pressing the send button. She put the phone up to her ear and listened to it ring. Each ring was long and played out; she just wanted him to quickly answer the phone as if waiting for her to call.

"Hey Serena."

Serena paused before speaking.

"Hello?"

"Hi, sorry."

Nate smiled into the phone, "Where are you?"

"My room."

Nate held back, "I'm by your house; actually I just went to see Chuck."

Serena held her breath. Blair didn't cross her mind, only Nate, alone with her did, and she wanted it right now, more than anything because of the fact that maybe some closeness would make up for something.

* * *

Chuck needed something to make up for all of the times he wanted it with a guy. For months, straining over gay porno, watching it continuously until he wanted to grab any random guy and do him. But then, he was not as sure as he was now.

And neither was Dan. Dan felt himself heat up when the doors opened into Chuck's dark, cold penthouse. Like a prison or a castle, from a vampire movie, mysterious, twisted, sexy. It fit Chuck perfectly. The lighting gave him chills, especially when Chuck went into the dim light and waited for him to step out of the elevator.

"Humphrey." Chuck made the first move over to Dan.

His groins grew when he touched Dan, heat consumed him and pleasure like nothing he'd ever felt, engulfed him. Chuck moved close, cautiously, then greedy as he pushed his lips onto Dan's.

Dan sunk into the feeling of Chuck's lips against his own, but he had no clue what to do next, didn't know what to fondle or how to stand. Chuck stepped back, his messy black hair made Dan's heart skip, Chuck looked vulnerable, and Dan wanted to hold him. A more sensitive side formed in Dan towards Chuck, something that surprised him because Chuck was more like a sex toy, not a cute boy.

So Dan, grabbed Chuck, held him. Chuck held on to, also surprised that he let Dan. What had got into him?

"I said fuck me, Dan, not cuddle me."

Dan let go and stared into Chuck's fiery eyes, "I know…" He said softly kissing Chuck again.

Chuck grabbed Dan's wrist and pulled him towards the bed, and falling down with him. Chuck didn't take any time removing clothes.

Chuck took off his shirt and pants until he was in his boxers, but Dan hesitated, nervous, but also curious to what Chuck thought of him. He lay down, watching Chuck as he moved like a snake over his body.

"Hurry up." Chuck pulled Dan on top of him.

"I can't do this." Dan panicked, but his cock said something different.

"Yes you can." Chuck groaned.

"No, I can't." Dan was interrupted by Chuck's hand and his mouth.

"Chuck, stop." Dan sat up, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be fucking sorry." Chuck stood up and Dan sat up frustrated.

"I want to." Dan said softly.

"But you want to cuddle and hug and talk about literature and chocolate cake."

Dan frowned, but at the same time wanted to laugh at how dramatic Chuck actually was.

Chuck sat on a chair only a few feet away, angry, fuming at Dan, "I want to fuck something, anything whether it be you or fucking whoever."

"Can't we just talk a bit?"

"Talk, about what?"

Dan sighed, taking off his tie, "I don't know."

"I have nothing to talk about, I'm boring alright, all I want to say, actually not say, but moan is, a _yes_."

Chuck clenched his teeth, "I haven't had it in months."

Dan rubbed his eyes, "I'm not used to this, okay?"

"Used to sex?"

"Used to sex with guys."

"Me neither." Chuck said, his voice getting mellower.

Dan sunk onto the floor, "I just broke up with Serena."

Chuck watched Dan sulk on the floor, "You're not going to cry are you?"

Dan looked up at him, "No."

Chuck slid off the chair and sat next to him, "Good."

Dan stared at Chuck for a second, "Have you ever had a normal heart to heart discussion?"

"No." Chuck scoffed.

"Why not?"

Chuck shot him a look.

"Okay I get it." Dan sighed, a hint of a smile on his lips.

"I don't have any heart to contribute to a heart to heart discussion, so it'd be completely one sided."

Dan felt Chuck's hand against his, as they sat together, leaning against the large king-sized bed. Chuck's penthouse was spotless, but only in the bad sense that all the love and good stuff you need to be a normal human being had been cleaned out. Nothing was really there. Chuck grew up in this, Dan thought, still trying to grasp that.

"I have to disagree."

Chuck laughed, "Seriously, Dan, I can't tell you I'm this nice person inside waiting to come out."

"But you're not a monster."

"I bet you have just been dieing to interrogate me."

Dan nodded, "Pretty much."

Chuck looked at Dan and kissed him, pushing him onto the plush white carpet. Dan felt Chuck above him, devouring him, and then he rolled over on top of Chuck, pushing his hand into his boxers. Chuck wrapped his arms around Dan tightly, and Dan liked the vulnerability of Chuck. But, it was strange seeing him so open.

Dan shrugged off his shirt and pants, throwing them into a pile on the chair Chuck had occupied only minutes earlier.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the short chapter, but I wanted to give you something because I'm actually writing a lot of stuff at the moment and this is to keep me from getting writer's block. It's my favorite fanfic though, I just love writing it.

Please give me reviews, I'd love them.

Thanks so much for reading!

Lyn Lloyd


	5. Chapter V: I Just Want Back In Your Head

_When You Met Me_

Chapter V

**I Just Want Back In Your Head**

* * *

Dan lay on his back, his hand resting on his stomach. He felt like a child, stealing without getting caught. He was never one to steal or break the rules, so in a way, he felt he deserved this. Yes, the risk devoured him as he lay in darkness, and yes he was unsure of everything, but something clicked. The tug of guilt was pulling him closer to the edge. Jenny's girlish laughs echoed behind the garage door that separated their rooms, making everything more chaotic. Usually, he would ignore them, tune them out, but this time he felt his stomach twist in fear and paranoia.

_Does she know? _

…_.did Chuck say something?_

He sat up and the slight pull to tell anyone what happened at Chuck's suite rose up in him again. He head Jenny more clearly now, something about Blair, but he could not quite make it out. His stomach settled for a moment. It was probably about her latest party, and speaking about parties, a paradoxical party raved on in his mind. One part of him wanted to tell anyone who'd listen, and the other knew he was never going to. The pull to tell sunk away when Jenny came in, holding her cell phone.

"Did you hear about Chuck?"

"What? No, I didn't hear anything, about…him, no, why?" Dan said. He wanted to hit himself, throw himself out the window, anything to make him stop stuttering.

"Why?" Jenny squealed, "I have just heard why, it's like the juiciest news _ever_ reported on Gossip Girl."

"You said that last week too."

"No, no this way better than last week's."

"And you said that too."

.Dan gulped down his meaningless witty banter with his sister and awaited the dreaded news he knew was coming.

"Supposedly, Chuck, _the_ Chuck Bass had sex with a guy, he like consummated his gayness."

Dan froze, "Okay, woah, bad picture."

But Dan felt himself grow hotter by the minute, his face he knew was bright red, and sweat, the guilty and the horny kind of sweat, formed on his forehead. Because the picture was not bad, it was good, and he had looked at the picture plenty of times, over and over in his head all night. He hated the reaction to envisioning Chuck Bass completely, naked, he wanted to leave, he did not want Jenny to see any trace of GUILTY AND LOVING IT all over his body.

But, either Jenny was pretending to ignore it, or she had no idea her brother was the guy who turned Chuck's rumored gayness into a big, dirty truth.

"No one knows who though," Jenny went on, "The only thing GG reported on was a watch."

Dan looked down at his wrist, "What kind of watch?"

"That's the big mystery, GG did not say anything else, and she was very discrete about it, as if even she didn't get the whole scoop, someone must have told her only half the story."

"It sounds like another stupid rumor to me."

"Everyone's like trying to figure it out; Blair thinks it's some male escort."

Dan gulped, "Oh, wow, yeah, I have to go."

Jenny moved aside, "Where were you last night?"

"Serena's." he said quickly and left.

* * *

"Nate, I'm sorry." Serena sat down on her bed, "These past few months, after I got back, I've totally messed up. I fell for Dan and ignored you completely, when I should've listened to you."

Nate sat next to her.

"What about Blair?" She asked.

Nate shrugged, "She's Blair."

"I know but I can't do this to her again."

"Then don't." He said.

Serena leaned in and kissed him, "But I want to."

* * *

"Good morning Daniel."

Dan stopped in front of her.

"Is this yours?" Blair held the watch up in front of him and he snatched it away from her and started to walk off.

"You can't get off that easily, Humphrey."

Dan groaned and turned around, "Please."

Blair smirked, "Now that your Chuck's butt buddy, we're almost sisters."

"I have to go to class."

"Wait, I know," Blair smiled, "But, you'll want to know what you can do to keep this dirty secret of yours."

Dan listened.

"Take Serena back."

Dan sighed, "I can't do that."

Blair began taking out her phone.

"Fine," Dan stopped her, "I'll do it."

Whether the situation, Dan could not let this come out of the closet, he wanted to keep his family out of this, especially for Jenny who did not need something to ruin the reputation she was ruthlessly trying to uphold. Blair stood waiting for more, waiting for him to come up to her and beg for mercy.

"I'll follow through, I'll write you up an evil plan and send you the final copy, I promise," Dan clasped his hands together.

"Good, you get it."

"Can I ask why you want me back with Serena?"

"Don't you know?" Blair laughed, "Oh, that's sad, you don't know."

"Know what?"

"She's been in love with my boyfriend since, hmm, let's see, _forever_."

"When she kissed you, told you she loved you, etc. etc., she always pictured Nate, I'm sure of it."

Dan fumed, "Okay you've proved your point."

"She's probably been waiting and waiting for you to break up with her, so she can have a proper chance to jump my boyfriend, and that's where you come in."

"But, what if she won't want to get back together?"

"Trust me, she will."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Nate wants us both." Blair smirked, "He'll always choose me in the end, so Serena will come crawling back if you just say the magic words and then you'll be free from this 'rumor'."

Dan shook his head, "I can't believe I can see your point."

"Okay, now fly off little fairy."

Dan rolled his eyes and left.

* * *

Chuck pushed his way through the crowd and snuck around the corner.

"Hi?" Dan said, but it ended up being more of a question than a greeting.

Chuck froze, "I've been avoiding you all day, now you've ruined it."

"I'm sorry, but Blair-"

"I know, by the way, you left your watch."

"Ha, Ha," Dan said dryly.

"Who takes off their watch…" Chuck lowered his voice, "during sex?"

Dan laughed, unexpectedly, he hadn't meant to, but the ridiculousness of the situation forced him to. Dan Humphrey hadn't expected to be sneaking around and randomly hooking up with Chuck Bass.

'What's so funny, Humphrey?" Chuck asked standing up straighter. His hair was messy, but it did not matter, he still looked rich and sexy.

Dan's smile faded, "Nothing," he looked at Chuck intently, studying to specks of color in his eyes.

"Obviously it's something."

Dan felt a pang of pleasure rise up from him when Chuck looked up at him.

Memories of last night hung in the air, of Chuck's slim, fit figure moving underneath and bending his back in ecstasy. Dan could remember the taste of Chuck, right there, and almost leaned it to make sure he had remembered it right.

Chuck leaned back, "Earth to Daniel, you are not allowed to picture me naked on private property."

Dan blushed and looked at his feet.

"Make sure no one finds out it's my cock you're dreaming about and I'll do the same for you." Chuck checked behind Dan's shoulder for anyone who could be listening in, then started off down the empty hallway. His feet dragged in his new leather boots, and his tan coat hugged his body tightly. Dan imagined him smoking and throwing the butt on the ground before blowing out a puff of smoke. Dan watched him, and bit the inside of his cheek, trying to block any of those naked thoughts from popping into his head.

"_I did not think I'd like it."_

_Chuck mumbled, fumbling for the light switch, which turned off all the lights in the suite. He felt for Dan, instinctively and accidentally brushed his hand under the covers. Dan tried to grab it, but Chuck's slender fingers moved too quickly. The curtains encasing the windows were left open so the city light provided them with enough light to make out each other. Dan thought of how he held Serena after they made love, but this was not making love, it was sex. Guy sex, gay sex, a different kind of sex that did not involve cuddling or much talking. _

_But Dan had to say something, "Can I ask you something?"_

_Chuck hugged his pillow and his eyes began to droop, "What?"_

"_How was I?"_

"_I never thought I would say this, but how would I know? I'm new at this; I have nothing to compare it to."_

"_Why does everything say that?"_

"_Because it's the correct answer."_

_Dan moved under the covers and wrapped his arms around Chuck's torso and felt the warmth that developed between them. Chuck did not challenge this, which surprised Dan, so he continued pecking his neck, and Chuck rolled over and kissed him full on the lips, "Don't take advantage." Chuck whispered._

_Dan smirked and continued kissing him. Chuck's eyes were closed, dizzy from this sex, and exhausted by the knew feeling he had, a new feeling that he wanted Dan to hug him, cuddle him, fuck him, whatever. Chuck pulled away and fell back onto the pillows with Dan on top of him. "You awake?"_

_Chuck's breathing slowed, his chest rose up and down softly. Each time his chest touched Dan, he could feel the strong pulse of his heartbeat. Dan lay his head on Chuck's shoulder, feeling his eyes close…_

"Dan?" Jenny shook him, "Dan?"

"Yeah?" Dan opened his eyes and grabbed the book he was reading, "I'm awake."

"Your phone was vibrating, but it said unknown number so, I just let it ring."

Dan's heart skipped, "Where is it?"

Jenny handed it to him, "Thanks."

"So you and Serena got back together?"

Dan cleared his throat, "We are working it out."

Jenny smiled, "That's good news."

"Yeah, good news."

Dan stood up and walked out the door and dialed Chuck's number in the hall.

All Chuck had wanted to do was kiss him. He wanted to be underneath him. Have sex with Dan had opened a can of worms. Now it was all he could think about. It made him squirm in his seat all day, uncomfortable, unsatisfied and sweaty.

"Damn it." He pounded his fist against the shower tiles as water gushed from the shower head. His black hair stuck to his wet face and he brushed it away with his hand. His cell phone lay on the counter and all he had to do was dial. He fumbled out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and dialed. He felt dehydrated, his hands were shaking.

Four rings echoed in his ear until Dan picked up.

Dan felt his cell phone vibrate in his hands and the unknown caller popped up on the tiny screen.

"Hey."

"Come over." Chuck begged. He hung on to the counter, feeling his shakiness wear off a bit since Dan had answered his phone.

Dan felt that excitement build up again.

"What time?"

"Now." Chuck said, and then he felt pathetic, but ignored it when he realized he did not care how he sounded at this point.

Dan arrived, risking being caught and knocked timidly on Chuck's door. Chuck let him in and then closed the door.

Dan stood awkwardly and it felt much like last night except that Chuck leaned in and kissed him. He had soft lips, Dan have never thought they would be. He parted his lips slowly and Chuck's tongue dove in, perfectly. They only kissed, but it felt like more. Dan pressed Chuck against the door he had just closed, obviously the unexpected dominant one. Dan had always figured Chuck would be the pitcher, but he had guessed wrong. Chuck's hidden vulnerabilities turned Dan into a power hungry person he never thought he was. Chuck's willingness to give up on dominance made him different. It made him surprisingly sexy.

* * *

"Dan wants to get back together." Serena told Blair, "He texted me last night."

Blair smiled, what an obedient slave you are, Dan Humphrey, "Really? That's great; I knew it was just a fluke."

"Me too, I'll probably meet up with him tomorrow."

"Good, have you seen Nate?"

Serena swallowed the rest of her sandwich, "I saw him yesterday, he was talking about you."

"Aw, what did he say?"

"He said he wanted to be with you, he went on and on about how much he loves you."

"Nate is such a sweetheart I'm so glad he's my boyfriend and not…"

"And not…what?" Serena asked.

"Nothing, I shouldn't say."

"Say. Spill, what do you know that I don't know."

"Nothing."

Serena eyed her, "Yes you do."

"Okay, I do. I just am worried about you and Dan, how he broke up with you…"

"What?"

"Well, I want a boyfriend who'll stay with me."

Serena sighed, "Fine, Blair, Nate's great, but so is Dan, he'll never hurt me."

Blair laughed, "Oh, it's nothing like that."

Serena shook her head, "You're just being a bitch about it."

"I know," Blair smiled, "A part of me just wants to protect her best friend."

"Well, thank you Blair, but I can take care of myself."

* * *

"Chuck." Dan pushed him away, but not far enough away that their lips did not touch, "I need to know something."

"What?" Chuck grabbed onto Dan's button up, "What?" He groaned.

"What if someone finds out?"

Chuck turned away, "Who knows."

Dan grabbed Chuck's arm, "What if everyone finds out, where will that leave me?"

"You?"

"Yes. Me."

"Do you have any idea what my father will do when he finds out?" Chuck crossed the room, his temper filling every inch of the large space.

"I know, I know." Dan followed him across the room.

"He'll throw me out on my ass."

"I'll be-"

"Shunned? For a week? For a year?" Chuck yelled, "Your precious father will accept you, but I'll be standing outside with nothing."

"I did not mean it like that."

Chuck fell silent, "They'll destroy me too, but you know what Dan?"

Dan moved closer to him.

'What?"

Chuck scoffed,"I have no idea what I am doing right now." He shook his head, "I'm fucking…"

"Yeah, trust me, I know."

"No you don't, you don't understand anything."

"You know what, you're right, I don't."

Chuck grabbed Dan's arm before he could go, "Don't leave while I'm still talking to you."

Dan shook his arm off, "I don't know what to do." Dan spoke truthfully, "You're here, I'm here, we both want this, but I-I'm still confused, I'm doing something I don't know I'm ready for."

"Then leave." Chuck presented him to the door, "You're free to go."

Dan left and mentally cursed himself the whole ride down the elevator. He just wanted Chuck, but then again he wanted normalcy to continue. He did not want to keep secrets or sell his soul to Blair. Or, hurt Serena anymore than he had. But, something about Chuck's life, and the way he lived it, made Dan cut off that part of him that belonged to Chuck and separate it from reality. But, he knew this could never be in the open. Everything was becoming jumbled and confusing. He never thought life could be like this, he wanted it to be like a TV show where he'd just follow the path of the character, without worrying about choices because whatever happened happened. If people found out about them, it would be over. The whole thing would end and a new character would take over.

As Dan walked home, he wanted to give up, and the later it got, the more lost he became in his own thoughts. And as it happens, he had lost track of time, and when he looked at his wrist it was bare, he had forgotten to put on his watch again. It was ironic that since he first officially was with Chuck, he had lost all sense of direction and time. He wanted to laugh at himself, for forgetting, for accidentally stumbling onto this thing he had with Chuck, for realizing that his watch was at home, where he should be spending his time.

He stopped and grabbed his phone our of his pocket and dialed Serena's number because it was the only sane thing he could think of.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed! BTW the title of the chapter is from a Tegan and Sara song that I love! You should totally download it…

xoxo

Lyn Lloyd

P.S. wasn't episode 15 awesome? With all it's Chuck/Dan hints I couldn't get enough hehe. Plus it was angsty, just the way I like it. Ooh, and Chuck was very hot of course, and I thought it was cute how he helped Serena out…tehe! Enough of my fangirlish ramblings and again, hope you enjoyed it!!


	6. Chapter VI:Cold, Kind and Chocolate Eyes

**When You Met Me**

**Chapter 6  
Cold, Kind, and Chocolate Eyes**

* * *

Dan fumbled for the right words to say to her. Not because he loved her, but because he didn't know who he loved. Or if he even had feelings left. It rang and rang until she finally picked up. He stared out at the busy streets and bit his lip.

"Dan?"

He looked down at his feet and closed his eyes, "Yeah, it's me. I-I'm here."

"I'm so sorry about, you know…" She paused but he knew what she was going to say. It was exactly like Blair predicted.

"About everything..." He whispered to himself.

"About everything..." She finished.

Dan stuffed his free hand in his jacket pocket, and felt the realization of how pitiful he was being. Why was he calling her? Why was he getting back together with her? But, he pushed it in the back of his head and swallowed his pride.

"I am too." He could feel the lie hanging off each word, but Serena didn't seem to notice.

There was silence on the other end, and he resented it, she should be the one talking the most. She should be the one to be apologizing and begging him to come back to her. Though, as he leaned against the fence surrounding an office building, he knew, if she did, he'd feel even worse.

"Dan," She said finally, "I'll see you at school tomorrow, we'll talk. I promise."

I promise. Dan felt his heart clench, "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Dan paused again, "Yeah, bye."

He flipped his phone closed and put it in his pocket. He began walking home, and it would be a long walk because his mind wouldn't leave him alone. A part of him wanted the Chuck Bass incident to be erased from his memory or from time. Oh, how he wished he could go back to that bus and change the outcome. But, the other kept nagging him…

Be true to yourself, it said, don't deny your feelings. Be yourself. All the corny clichés kept popping up in his mind. Wasn't that how things should be? Because in the end you know only bad things will come out of denial. Although Dan knew he should follow his own advice, he instead shook his head, picked up his pace and continued his walk home.

Chuck clenched his fists and stared at his empty room, feeling quite unsatisfied. At least when Dan was around they could fight, they could have sex, and they could do something. Anything would please him; just as long as he was able to do something he'd be fine. He'd feel better than this.

"Chuck?"

Chuck turned around at the sound of his name, "Nate?"

Nate came in sheepishly, "Hey."

"Hello Nathanial."

"You don't look too good."

Chuck stared at him, "Nice observation."

"He was here, wasn't he?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, he was."

Chuck wasn't ashamed. He should be gloating, not blushing.

"It was good? Or..."

"It wasn't good." Chuck interrupted.

Nate smirked, "Don't worry dude, he'll come back."

Chuck scoffed, "Right."

"Maybe you should reconsider."

Chuck looked down at Nate as he took a seat on his couch, "What do you mean, reconsider?"

"You know the whole "gay" thing…" Nate stared up at him, "Maybe it's just a…a phase?"

Eyes narrowed, Chuck felt a surge of anger rise up, "A phase? This can't be just a phase!"

Nate held up his hands in defense, "I'm just saying, maybe this isn't for the best, it's obviously causing you trouble."

"Of course it is!" He snarled.

Nate got up, "Maybe I should go."

"Maybe you should."

Chuck watched his friend leave and felt bile rise up from his throat. He hadn't felt this sick in well, never. His stomach didn't agree with the load of crap Nate was spewing at him. Chuck took off his shirt and tossed it on his bed.

"Fuck this," He muttered, grabbed one of his silky black shirts out of his closet and put it on haphazardly. He wouldn't stand for this kind of humiliation.

* * *

"Why did you get home so late?" Jenny asked on their walk to school.

"I was studying with Serena."

"Studying?" Jenny shot him a look, "For what?"

"Um," Dan fumbled, "For our exams."

"What exams?"

Dan sighed, "Okay, you caught me."

Jenny only continued listening.

"I was over there and we talked about stuff."

"Stuff like what?"

"Are you going to interrogate me or can I just explain myself?"

Jenny smiled, "Sorry, I can just tell when you're lying."

"I'm not lying!"

"Yes you are, you get this-this look, and I don't know I can just tell."

Dan scoffed, "Right."

"It's intuition." Jenny said.

"Intuition?"

"Yup."

"Whatever you say Jen."

* * *

English. _Must avoid._

Dan took a deep breath and stepped inside his English classroom. He found his seat and sighed in relief when he saw Chuck's empty desk.

"Not so fast Humphrey."

Dan looked up, "I-I wasn't."

Chuck scanned the empty classroom, "We're early."

"Yes, I guess…"

"Stop stuttering, it's embarrassing." Chuck said, "Plus, someone will notice."

"Why would you care?" Dan spat back.

"Don't be so smug Daniel,"

"So now we're on a first name basis, _Charles_."

Chuck leaned in, "We were last night."

Dan felt his face grow even hotter and he couldn't think of a single word to say.

"You're kind of cute when you're all frustrated."

Dan narrowed his eyes, "Stop it Chuck."

"Stop what?" He leaned on his desk, "I'm just having a conversation with one of my classmates."

"Good morning." Their English teacher walked in and a smirk formed on Bass's face.

"Can Humphrey and I be excused for just a moment; we need to speak to the Headmaster."

"Sure, why not?"

Dan shook his head and mouthed 'no' behind their teacher's back.

"It's very important that we leave now Daniel."

The door slammed loudly behind them and Dan could feel other students stare at them as they passed.

"Chuck what are you doing?"

It only took him a second to realize what was going on. Chuck wanted to "talk" which could only mean…

"Sex." Chuck turned on the light, "It's our current topic of discussion."

Dan looked around the storage closet. It was much bigger and more glamorous than one would assume.

"This is ridiculous." Dan tried to open the door, "I'm leaving."

Chuck grabbed Dan's hand, "No you are not."

"I am."

Chuck stared at him angrily, "I'm not going to beg you to listen to me."

"Okay good, because it won't work."

"I'm going to make you."

"You can't always make people do everything you want them to. It's stupid, haven't you-"

"Haven't I what? Do you have some amazing speech planned?"

Dan let go of the doorknob, suddenly feeling the warmth of Chuck's hands.

"I don't know." He said, "I'm just as confused as you are."

Chuck stared at him as he confessed, "I'm not confused."

The sound of students lessened when the bell rang, "Well I am."

"Why?"

Dan looked at him, "Serena."

Chuck shifted his gaze to the wall, "Right, your girlfriend."

"Yes, _technically_."

"Not when you tell her you-"

"Chuck." He interrupted, "I'm not going to tell her! I want to pretend this didn't happen!"

Chuck immediately pressed his lips against Dan's, only to be pushed away. Chuck slumped up against one of the shelves full of old boxes, pictures, and alphabetized yearbooks.

"Leave then Humphrey."

Dan stared at his disheveled form and the way his cold, yet kind chocolate eyes bore a hole through his. His hand fumbled for the doorknob, but it was out of reach. He turned and found it, but before he turned it, he looked back.

"Maybe."

"Just spit it out already." Chuck stood up straight, "_Or leave_, whichever."

Dan stepped towards him, "What do you want me to do?"

"You know what I want you to do." Chuck stepped even closer, "It's not a fucking secret."

Dan gulped, "I know."

Chuck kissed him softly, taking his time, unlike last time where all he wanted was a finish, "I'm not confused," He repeated between kisses, which only grew in length and force.

Dan pulled away, "Chuck."

"What?" He pleaded, "I said spit it out already."

"Can you please just promise you'll keep this a secret?"

Chuck took his time answering, "I promise." He breathed out and Dan felt his heart clench again. Those words….

_I promise. I promise._

echoed feverishly throughout body…

* * *

_**To be continued.**_

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in forever! I graduated a semester early from high school so I have A LOT more time on my hands!! So I just adore this story and I decided to update!!! Please read and review!! &&& Thanks for all the reviews thus far!!


	7. Chapter VII: The City's Growing Cold

When You Met Me

Chapter 7

The City's Growing Cold

* * *

Dan's body quivered once he accepted Chuck's kiss. The feelings he thought he felt for Serena crumbled away. Chuck's broad chest pressed lightly up to his and Dan could feel the fabric of their shirts lightly brush against each other. The light reflected against them softly in the dimly lit closet.

"Wait." Dan stared into Chuck's eager eyes. There was a hint of suspicious swirling about in them.

Chuck stepped back, "Whatever it is, you better say it or I'm going to find someone else to get off on."

Dan looked down, "I'm not sure what this is…?"

"This?" Chuck laughed, "Is nothing. You mean nothing to me, you-you are an _experiment_."

"Thanks." Dan let out an exasperated sigh, "So, you're just going to keep using me until you find something else."

"Yes Daniel, I thought you knew how it worked. You really think relationships like this really work? Because they don't. These never work out. We'll never be riding off in the sunset or going across the border to Canada to get married. Alright?"

Dan opened his mouth, but silenced himself.

"What?" Chuck glared.

"I wasn't thinking that far ahead Chuck!" Dan clenched his fists, "I was thinking in the moment and now I don't know whether it was a mistake or…something else." He caught a certain glint in Chuck's eyes.

"Something else? What is that? Because it's been unmentioned this whole time."

"A feeling, I don't know, something that we can actually both be certain of, instead of it being these random hook-ups."

Chuck grabbed his arm and stared, "I'm not like that." He whispered, "I'm disconnected, aloof, distance, and with you I certainly don't want to be anything else. If my father finds out, I'm better off dead."

The silence between grew, "Why?"

"Why?" Chuck leaned in and his breath made Dan shiver as it lightly touched the bare skin on his neck,

"Because it's _wrong_."

Dan shook his head, "How is it wrong? What's wrong with it?"

"You know what's _wrong _with it. You were the one hesitating and bitching about how you want it to be kept secret. I promised remember?"

"You wouldn't tell anyway."

"That's right, I wouldn't, but it doesn't matter, what matters is that you made me promise in the first place. That by the very fact means you don't want me bragging to ever fucking person I encounter."

Dan stood there, unable to say anything back, he was exhausted by this. He didn't know if someone had purposely cursed him or a higher power was having a laugh screwing up his life, but as he reached for the doorknob again, and tried to forget about it, something else was at hand.

"I don't know why." Chuck admitted behind him, quietly.

Dan opened the door and left.

* * *

Blair grabbed Nate's arm, "Hey sweetie."

"Hi Blair."

Blair flashed one of her brightest smiles, "I've got a date planned."

"Oh, really?" He wrapped his arms around her and clenched his teeth. The feeling of her breasts against his chest made him loose control.

"It's a surprise though." She took her finger and trailed it down his button up.

Serena waved at Nate who immediately looked back at Blair, "A surprise?"

"Yes…" She smiled innocently, "Dinner and then…maybe we could try again."

"Really?" Nate smirked, "Thank you Blair." He kissed her forehead, "What time?"

"7 o'clock, _tonight_."

Nate let her go, but before she left she turned back around, "It's at Serena's, and Dan will be there too."

"What?"

"Just for dinner of course, and then we'll go back to my room. My mom is in France and I gave Dorota the day off."

Nate kissed her goodbye and caught Serena's eyes as he hugged Blair. She motioned him to follow.

"I'm sorry about the other day, you're obviously right with Blair and I'm right with Dan."

"Of course." Nate said, "It was just an-"

"Act of desperation?" Serena laughed.

"Yeah, Blair and I have been having some problems too…" Nate said.

They walked in silence for awhile.

"I'll see you tonight I guess." Serena waved goodbye and Nate watched her leave.

"Yeah, tonight."

* * *

Chuck knew that keeping delicious secrets wasn't really his forte. As soon as he could find someone he wanted to whisper all the deliciousness out of the secret. But common sense drew him back in and he sucked down all the remaining feelings. He had to; he was supposed to continue living, what he considered_ a normal life_.

They both had their reasons for keeping this intimate secret between the two of them, but Chuck felt Dan's reason was quite unsettling. Chuck really never had a girlfriend, but keeping Serena just as a cover made him quite aware just how controversial this how Chuck and Dan fling was. There was no way that Serena could find out, but Dan could at least-

_What am I doing?_ He thought as he took his shirt off hastily and threw it at his bed. _Who cares what Humphrey thinks of me, who cares what he does, who he's with…_

"Chuck!" Serena called him from the living room.

He checked his watch, it was nearly seven.

"What?" He yelled so loud, mostly out of frustration, that it hurt his throat.

There were a few moments of silence and he could hear talking. Then he could hear Dan talking.

"Fuck." He groaned and looked towards his bathroom door as if the bathroom could provide any escape.

No escape, he thought, no escape from this torturous, yet utterly satisfying thing, whatever you wanted to call it with…

"Chuck!" Serena's muffled voice interrupted his thoughts, again, "Dan, Nate and Blair are here, and you can come down if you want!"

"Shit, now they know I'm here."

"Chuck? Come out." Serena insisted.

Chuck glared at his closed door where he knew Serena was leaning against, "Alright, _sis_, I'll be right down."

Dan stared up the stairs until he saw Serena come hurrying down, "He'll be down." She sighed, "He's so..." She trailed off when she caught Dan's eyes.

"I made dinner, we I didn't actually make it but yeah it's right over here." She motioned towards the dining room, "Just settle in."

Dan sat down and swallowed all the vicious attempts his mind was making to remind him that Chuck was only a few feet away. He heard his footsteps first and then his voice.

"Well good evening _lovers_," Chuck drawled and made sure he leaned towards Dan when he said lovers.

Blair smirked at Dan as he shifted in his seat.

"Well hello Charles," Blair laid her hand on Nate's knee, "I'm sure glad you got some rest, it seems as though you've been quite…_busy_ lately."

"Rest?" Chuck scoffed.

Blair looked at him sweetly, "Serena said you were taking a nap."

Serena shrugged when Chuck threw her an annoyed look, "I had to say something," She muttered.

Dan was staring at Chuck, who obviously felt it sense he was constantly avoiding his general direction.

Blair was watching Dan, "So Dan, how's um, life?"

It took Dan awhile to answer, "Good."

Chuck gritted his teeth, "You?" Chuck motioned towards Blair.

"Quite good." She chuckled, "The funniest thing happened the other day!"

Chuck glanced at Dan while Blair continued on with her meaningless stories about her latest shopping experience at Bergdorf's. Dan quickly glanced once but put his hand on Serena's.

Chuck bit into his steak and frowned.

A funny feeling drifted throughout him, especially near his chest. Serena smiled and Chuck continued to watch Dan as he put his arm around her. Nothing special, just typical things a boyfriend would do. That's what he kept telling himself. How cliché, how fake, how scripted.

It was…but.

Serena put her napkin on her plate and grabbed Dan's hand.

"Let's move into the living room."

Blair shook her head and looked over at Nate, "Sorry Serena, we have something planned tonight."

Chuck rolled his eyes and got up swiftly, "Goodnight, all." He said and walked past Dan, managing to only brush shoulder's with him.

"Goodnight Charles!" Blair called after him.

Dan felt tense around Blair, the way she looked so smug and how she carried the secret so loosely. It looked like it would fall off of her lips any second.

"Well have fun you two!" Blair said and dragged Nate behind her.

Chuck stood at the top of the stairs and could see Dan and Serena stand there waving after Blair. He held onto the banister and waited while his heart pounded.

Dan noticed nothing and kissed Serena softly, "I'm glad we did this."

Chuck watched impatiently.

Serena nodded her head, "I think we've figured things out, I mean we just get caught up in stupid fights, they aren't over anything real, and it's just…"

"Stop trying to explain." Dan shook his head, "its fine."

Serena was silent.

* * *

Chuck paced and tried to sleep, but he just tossed and turned. Was Dan still here, was he having sex with Serena? What was going on? He checked his watch. It was only ten.

Dan fidgeted with Serena's bra strap and let out a frustrated sigh, "Serena."

"I'll get it, its fine," She said softly, "I'm sorry."

Dan couldn't feel himself getting hard. A little, but barely and he didn't want Serena to know anything. He couldn't let her know. But it would show and it would be beyond his control.

Except…

He thought of Chuck, his small figure vulnerable, unforgiving and strong. A devilish glimmer in his eyes when he spoke and the softest glimmer when he…

"Dan?"

Dan was breathing harder, "Yeah?"

Serena kissed him and tucked her hair behind her ears, "Are we ready for this? Right now?"

Dan shook his head, "I don't know…"

Serena got up and grabbed her shirt, "We should end it here."

Dan got up, his penis softening.

Dan got up, exhausted from all the mental imagery he had desperately tried to conjure up in his head.

"I'll go." Dan smiled, "Stay here."

Serena watched him leave and bit her lip as she sat down at the edge of her bed.

"Daniel." Chuck was standing in the middle of the dark hallway so you could only see the strongest features on his face.

Dan stood there, his eyes wide and uncertain, "Hi." He could barely speak.

Chuck didn't move either, until a few moments passed and he opened his door and went in.

Dan felt his heart thumping in his chest again. He felt it grow louder as he was preparing himself to walk through the door.

"Dan?"

Serena's voice jolted him back to reality, "Sorry it's so dark." She turned on the hall light. A mirror was placed at the end so he could actually see himself, standing there about to enter Chuck's room. It was pathetic, quite pathetic.

"See you tomorrow." Dan whispered as he stole a quick kiss and hurried past her.

Chuck looked down the now dark hallway and took a deep breath, there was always tomorrow…

* * *

Dan kissed him hard. The tension last night was enough to make Dan suffocate him.

"You should've come in my room last night Humphrey."

Dan sucked in his breath, "Why's that?"

"Because maybe we would've been caught red-handed, and we could-"

Dan sat up in the hotel bed and shook his head, "Why do you keep bringing that up?"

Chuck propped himself up on his elbows, "Bringing what up?"

"Getting caught?"

Chuck sighed, "You know it's just how I talk."

Dan bit down on his lip, hard, "Yeah, but we can't get caught. I don't want to get caught with you Chuck. I know you don't either because of your father."

"I don't give a shit about my father!"

Dan closed his eyes tightly, "You will."

Chuck felt the honesty of that statement.

"You're right, I fucking will, but why can't I just talk dirty? Every girl I fucked liked it, why can't you just enjoy it? Why can't you just enjoy being with me?"

Dan pushed Chuck back down in an attempt to allow his mind to stop circling around annoying what ifs and just relax.

Chuck stared up at him, not breaking the kiss.

"Do you insist on torturing me Chuck?" Dan lay on top of him, heaving, "I don't want to think about it."

"You want to mindlessly get off on my sister?"

Dan rolled over, "I thought of you last night."

Chuck was surprised by his honesty, "While you banged her?"

"We didn't…bang."

"Ha, well you must've had to been turned on, right?"

Dan rolled over on his side and stared at the door, "No, I wasn't."

Chuck stared at Dan's naked back.

"I thought of you, you know, naked and…vulnerable."

"You think I'm _vulnerable_, Humphrey?" Chuck grabbed Dan's shoulder and rolled him over, "I'm not."

Dan stared up at him, "Yes you are."

Chuck pushed his lips against Dan's roughly and grabbed onto his ruffs of brown hair. Dan smirked and rolled over on top of him, "You're vulnerable," He chuckled, pinning Chuck's slim body onto the mattress.

Chuck squirmed and glared up at him, "Fuck you."

Dan leaned in and whispered, "It's a promise."

* * *

_**Author's Note: Didn't edit, just a quick update! Hope you like!! Thanks for the reviews!!! :D**_


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